


The Needs of Selfishness

by supershadsy



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 10:19:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5123948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supershadsy/pseuds/supershadsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't teach an old dog new tricks, as Kratos once again finds solace in his friend's intimacy. </p><p>Takes place after Chapter 34 of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3800722">Jumper</a>--can be enjoyed without context.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Needs of Selfishness

**Author's Note:**

> If you're not reading [Jumper](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3800722), here's some info to fill you in:
> 
> Kratos has just revealed to Lloyd that he is in fact his birth father, after being his professor at his school. (His mother died in an accident when he was very young, was adopted by Dirk, similar to canon.) Lloyd has recently gotten together with Colette and Zelos. Yuan is also a professor at the same school. I think that's really all that's important? Everything else elaborates itself in this work. 
> 
> This contains sexually explicit material--reader discretion is advised. Otherwise, enjoy!

The bedroom Kratos Aurion had found himself in was dark and sparse, worn curtains covering what little light there was left outside. The nightstand was covered in odds and ends--a digital alarm clock, a modest lamp, a bottle of lube, a pair of glasses, a bottle of migraine pills. Clothes were scattered in a trail leading from the door to the bed, and he could feel a finger tracing his bare back. "Kratos," it said.

"What?" 

"Why did you come here this time?"

He rolled over on the bed to face Yuan Ka-Fai, blue hair untied and spilled over his shoulders. Had he gotten thinner since he'd last seen him like this? Kratos couldn't remember. His blue eyes were thin and piercing, even in the dark. "Well?" he said.

"What do you mean?" Kratos replied. 

"You only seem to come here when you're distressed about something," Yuan said. His voice was low and intimate, and he could feel his breath against his neck.

They locked eyes, Kratos' own deep and stern, and the rhythm of their breathing bodies was the only thing that could be heard. He ran his own hand down the side of his neck, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. "I didn't...come here to talk," he said quietly. 

Kratos pulled him forward, and they shared a deep kiss. It was hungry, and the longer it progressed, the more desperate it became. Yuan had a way of using his tongue in his kiss, and it sent shivers down Kratos' spine. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced, and he was the only place he could get it from. A moan rose in his throat.

After a minute, Yuan broke it, his breathing coarse. "Maybe if you did," he whispered, hands dawdling at the small of his back. "You wouldn't feel so terrible later."

"I don't feel terrible," Kratos insisted, a haze of heat clouding his mind. "Quite the contrary, actually."

Yuan sighed and nipped at his neck, some soft bites, others more vigorous. "Don't lie to me," he muttered into his neck. 

"Ah--" He swallowed thick, the heat in his groin growing more persistent, pressing into Yuan's leg. "P-please, Yuan..."

His hand had wandered from the small of his back to his growing erection, teasing the shaft by running only a finger up and down it. "What?" he said, slowly strengthening his grip. "We've known each other too long. I just want you to be honest with me."

"H-how--" His hands trembled to reach his face, but settled for his chest, tracing his collarbone. "How m-much...more _honest_ do you think I can get?"

Yuan chuckled, a slow smile spreading through his lips as he pulled down on Kratos' cock, enough for him to lose his breath before returning to a steady rhythm. "I won't deny you," he said into his mouth, and kissed him again. "I enjoy you too much."

Kratos tried to reply, but Yuan kissed him again, and again. He pushed him over onto his back, straddling him and milking his erection for all it was worth. Eyes fluttering, he let himself get lost in it, comfortable in the pleasure. _I shouldn't be doing this,_ he thought. _But, I always do this. You can't teach an old dog new tricks, as the saying goes._

"What do you want?" Yuan asked, right into his ear. "If you really want to fuck, you'll have to get off your back."

The consonants of the curse rang in his ear, and its implications ran like electricity down his spine. "You can't get on top?" Kratos asked.

"It doesn't work," he replied simply, and pulled at his shoulders. "Unless you want me inside?"

Kratos paused as he sat up, and Yuan shook his head. "No, that's not what you want," he said, reaching over for the lube and snapping it open. Kneeling in front of him, he squeezed a puddle of it in his hand and worked it over Kratos' shaft. The sudden slickness made him shudder, and he covered his mouth as Yuan worked it over the tip. 

"Come on," Yuan said quietly, letting him go and scooting beside him against the bed. "You know what to do by now."

Kratos sat up, took the lube bottle from his hand, and knelt in front of his spread legs. His eyes scanned his body, from his cock, all the way up his chest, and to his face. Yuan, however, was looking away, hair hiding his face. _Don't do that._ He lowered himself down to his crotch and began to suck the tip, licking quickly with his tongue.

"M- _mm!"_ Yuan yelped, covering his mouth with his hand. His breathing accelerated, and he managed to push his hair behind his ear, so Kratos could finally see him. His face had grown flush. He managed to keep direct eye contact with him as he dipped his whole mouth down over his shaft. _That's better,_ Kratos thought as Yuan's eyes rolled back. _Much better..._

He sucked in hard as he let him go, Yuan now completely erect, and lubed up two of his fingers while he leaned to hover over him. "Y-you haven't lost...your touch," Yuan breathed.

Kratos propped himself up with one hand, and his other he used to gently press one finger inside his ass. "Why, thank you," he replied as he pushed it further in.

"A- _ahh...!"_

He smirked. "You have to have a little fun."

He stroked forward with his finger inside Yuan, watching as he twitched and writhed in his touch. _You always put on a show._ He paused to fit another finger inside, stretching him wider, and he sat up to stroke himself a little more, still slick with lube. "K-Kratos..." he stuttered.

Kratos slowly withdrew his fingers and aligned his cock against him. "Ready?"

Yuan sighed audibly and let his muscles relax, flattening himself out on the bed.  "D-don't...go too fast right at--fiii _iirst...!"_

Kratos pushed himself in, as slow as he could, but the lube was making it difficult to hold back. Yuan bit his lip and let out a loud, lewd cry. "M-Martel, you...you are always thhhicker than I remember..."

He chuckled and continued burying himself into his ass, relishing in its tightness until he could push no more. Yuan whined and covered his mouth, eyes rolling back. _I could never forget this,_ Kratos thought as he settled into a slow rhythm. _The way he looks when he's in pleasure is always so...tantalizing._ Electricity flowed from his groin up through his thighs. _It's haunted me ever since the first time I saw it, even years later. Even she_

_(Anna)_

_couldn't rival it, although it was very close._

He blinked and saw his late wife's face behind his eyes. _Damn it._

Yuan was looking right at him, as if he sensed his change in mood, and Kratos distracted him by grabbing his cock firmly and pulling back, all the way back until he began to moan again. _That's better._ He let it go to ease his torso forward, grabbing his hair

_("Wh-what the hell is this all about?")_

and running his hand through it as his breathing picked up. He hovered above his lips, waiting for Yuan to reach, reach up, desperate and wanting, and kiss him

_("That...is you."_

_"So...you're my real father.")_

and kiss him

_(he has her eyes, but I ultimately see myself in him, my son who looks at me with those soft brown eyes and yet doesn't recognize me)_

and kiss him again. Kratos jammed his tongue in his mouth, the sensation heightening the heat inside him and blurring out his intrusive thoughts. Amidst the darkness, a streetlight shown in across the bed, lighting up part of Yuan's face and some of his hair in washed, yellow light. He could spot streaks of silver amongst the cool blue of his hair. 

_(children get older and I'm getting older too)_

"Nn-nnhh..."

Feeling urge through his groin, Kratos began to pick up his pace, one hand propping himself up, the other constantly running its hand through Yuan's hair. "Are you close?" Yuan asked, breathless. "I-I don't know how long...I can...can wait..."

"I...a-ahh _nnn..."_

Yuan had tightened around him, forcing him to thrust harder, and the motions themselves aroused him even more. Sweat beaded on his brow, and he swallowed hard--his return to air caught him gasping. _I'm...almost there...if I can...time it right--_

Desperation took hold, and while his mind was still his own, he pulled out, one hand on his incredibly hard erection, and gripped it as hard as he could. "Wh--what..." Yuan muttered, but before long, he was grinning as Kratos whole body began to tense and spasm. 

"A-aaa _aaah!"_ he moaned as he finished in his hand, eyes rolled back into his head, holding the end of his cock with one hand to catch the cum dripping from it. His legs turned into jelly, and he slumped over Yuan's pale, hot body, panting. "A-ah..."

"You could've come inside," Yuan whispered, a lazy smile on his face. "I don't mind getting a little messy."

"I...do..." Kratos replied, struggling to sit up. His head hovered over Yuan's crotch. "Shhh...shall I...f-finish you?"

"Here." Yuan stretched out to the bottom shelf of the night stand and pulled out several tissues. "Just so you don't have any distractions."

He took them and wiped off his hand from the sticky cum _(Good enough if he's desperate,_ he thought), and tossed it over the nightstand, missing the wastebasket beside it. He shook his head and focused himself on the task at hand, immediately licking the head of his cock. Yuan flexed his hips in pleasure, his head lolling back against the pillow. Slowly, he began taking more of him into his mouth. stroking the back of it with his tongue. But, as he settled into a rhythm, 

_("If you have any doubts, we can schedule an appointment at--"_

_"No, no." He would not look at him, hands balled at his sides. "I...don't think so. I can...remember some stuff...kind of. I...believe you.")_

memories from earlier floated

_("Like what?"_

_"Like...the kitchen of...o-our house. I remember Mom washing dishes. A-and...her calling you by name." He paused and licked his lips. "Kratos.")_

back to the front of his mind. He sucked him harder, and deeper. 

"A-aa _aah!_ K-Kr _atos_... _haaahhh..."_ Yuan's head was barely propped as he watched Kratos suck him off, and his tongue flicked out as they locked eyes. _He loves to watch,_ Kratos thought as he took him as deep as he could go, rubbing his tongue in every variation he could think of. _So entertaining. I can understand the appeal..._

"I'm...a-aa _ah,"_ Yuan panted, breathing through his teeth. "O-oh, Maaa _aartel, I'm coming--!"_

His back arched as the orgasm took him, moans nearly at a scream, and warm liquid filled Kratos' mouth, bitter and salty. _The bliss only lasts for a moment, doesn't it?_ He slowly lifted from his cock, and when it was out of his mouth, he swallowed, wiping his lips. "Are you satisfied?" Kratos said.

Yuan's chest was heaving, and it stuttered with breathy laughter. "Spirits, you act like you weren't the one to suddenly show up for this." He limply reached for him, caressing his shoulder. "You're so tidy it makes me sick, but yes. Yes I am satisfied, as you put it."

Kratos smirked, then stared out toward the window. _Has it gotten late? I shouldn't stay..._

"Come here."

Yuan tugged at his arm. He glanced down at him, watching him still basking in the aftermath of the orgasm. "I..." he began. As much as he wanted to refrain, his hand wandered to stroke his chest. "I was...right. About Lloyd."

Yuan blinked a few times. "The boy in your H-102 class?" he said.

Kratos sighed. "Yes. He is my son. I told him today."

He sat up straight and held the hand Kratos had put onto his chest. "So _that's_ what this was about."

"I can only assume when he was rescued, they assumed Anna's maiden name to be his," he continued, staring into space. "That's why he's Lloyd _Irving,_ and not Lloyd Aurion as we named him."

"What did he have to say?" Yuan's voice was strangely soothing. _I remember when I first heard that tone from him, when we were many years younger. Still after sex, in one of our beds, still in a way that warranted secrecy._

"What do you think? He grew up thinking his real father was dead." _As thought I about him._ "He has someone else he can call 'dad', not me."

"Then why did you bother telling him?"

"I..." His words caught in his throat. His eyes focused back to Yuan, whose own would not leave his. _You already know, don't you?_ "I thought maybe, after...all this time, I could connect with him, somehow." His words were barely audible, and he shook his head. "That's...foolish, isn't it?"

"Yes," Yuan replied, firm. "In essence, it's the same reason you came here, isn't it?

Out of selfishness?"

Kratos felt the word deep in his chest, and let it sit there, festering. _That is what it is. Selfishness. I am a needy, selfish old man, with little left to prove of himself._ He slid himself off the bed, gathering the trail of clothes that were his.

"You're leaving already?"

"I'm just getting dressed." He pulled his briefs over his now limp cock, adjusting as he went. His undershirt came next, followed by a dress shirt. He side eyed him as he buttoned it methodically from the bottom to the top. "Don't you have to teach in the morning?"

"I do," he responded, getting up himself. "But this is my house. I don't have to go."

"Good for you," Kratos grumbled, straightening his collar. While he pulled on his pants, his eyes darted the floor. "Where is my belt..."

"Over here," he said, still naked, holding up a thin, brown belt. As Kratos snatched it from his hands, he crossed his arms. His voice was quiet, however. "You don't have to do this, you know."

"Do what?" 

"You don't have to leave if you really don't want to."

Kratos paused a moment before he finished securing the buckle. _This again. It all comes back around to this._ Yuan's expression was calm, but his eyebrows were narrowed, just slightly, just tense enough to show through. 

_(how do you feel about him?)_

"You don't have to pick sides anymore," Yuan said. 

"Yuan..." _It's true that Yuan was first. We had known each other for longer. But, when I met Anna, I knew...she was the one. Yuan has always been my friend, and then we do...this._

_(wasn't it a difficult decision to make, though?_

_when you were young...)_

"I...can't," he said finally, dropping his gaze to the floor. _Neither of us are young anymore, don't you understand that? We can't do what we used to, even_ if _she has passed on._

_(so will you squander the last of your days,_

_being miserable and lonely?_

_with only this lingering shred of intimacy to keep you?)_

Yuan snickered and shook his head. "I know," he replied. "I knew you would say that. That's...just how it is, isn't it? That's just how you are."

Kratos could not reply. Yuan wandered to the nightstand and retied his hair into its usual low ponytail, smiling humorlessly to himself. _In that regard, Lloyd is a better man than me,_ he thought as Yuan dressed. _He found a way to compromise with those he cared for, while I could not. I could see it in his face, and in the held hands of his friends when I saw them._ "You know..." Kratos began, "you know...that I--"

"I know, of course I do," Yuan spat, cutting him off. "But, you have your reservations, don't you? She's been gone for over a decade, and you still hold back."

Kratos' eyes narrowed. _Perhaps I do. Maybe I can't let go, maybe I am stuck in my ways. Why I reached out to my only son, why I cling to my dead wife,_

 _why I still come crawling back to you, after all these years._

"One thing's for sure," Kratos said. "You are selfish, too."

Yuan walked right up to him, pulling him by his collar, close enough to feel his breath against his face. "At least I admit it," he sneered.


End file.
